IT'S POINTLESS TO PATROL
by phantomoftheopera111
Summary: Story 74. Selina catches up with Bruce on his patrol. But, with Selina around, patrol never goes well. SUMMARIES ARE SO CHEESY.


Hallo. Ok, I'd like to throw a big shout out to pandabear21. Um, your comment was a sweetest thing I read all day. I was having kinda a rough day, and I got on my laptop and not only do I get 10 new comments from FanFiction, but I read yours, and my day goes from low to high. Seriously, thank you so much. You rock my socks off. It's going in my keep pile, that's how much I dig it. :) 3

Anyways, I found a Bruce and Selina story in my hard drive! Hot damn, y'all! I know how much you cats like BatXCat. ;)

Look it's rock'n'roll! Enjoy~

* * *

IT'S POINTLESS TO PATROL

* * *

Selina smiled from her perch above the city. She couldn't help it. Bruce looked great in those tights. Her butterflies turned to rocks and fell to the pit of her stomach as she watched him punch the pathetic wannabe cat burglar in the throat. Selina let a small sigh escape her lips. He was so… manly.

She frowned at the word that had come to her mind to describe her boyfriend. She sighed and leaned over the edge. She stepped back and threw herself off the roof.

Bruce's eyes darted from the crook he was tying up to Selina's form.

"Hey, you," Selina purred moving close.

Bruce replied with a curt huff.

Selina smiled and moved closer. She ran a leather glove through her curly black hair. She noticed that the man Bruce had tied up wasn't unconscious, just slightly dazed.

She looked back up and noticed Bruce was looking at her. As soon as their eyes met, Bruce darted his away to the man.

Bruce lifted the scrawny man over his shoulder and shot his grapple gun. He turned to Selina, "You coming?"

Selina smiled and leapt off the building with her whip leading her off into the night.

Bruce couldn't help but smirk. He jumped off the building sailing quickly behind the woman in leather.

The man in his arms began screaming through the gag.

Selina closed her eyes as she freely flew through the sky with her hair whipping behind her and the cold March air whisking past her.

Bruce knelt down as they reached the roof of the police station to cushion the fall. Selina gracefully landed and fixed her whip into her belt.

Bruce gave her a quick smile and tied the man up to the base of the Bat Signal. He secured the knot and flipped the switch on to inform the Commissioner that someone needed to be checked in.

Selina followed behind Bruce as he walked to the ledge of the building the building and shot his grappling hook onto another building. He turned to her and held his hand out.

She walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. Bruce pressed the button of the machinery and they jolted into the air.

Selina rested her head on Bruce's shoulder and smiled. She ran her hand over the tight Kevlar material.

Bruce brushed his lips past her hair and inhaled her orchid scent.

They landed on the roof of one of the buildings in North Gotham. Selina wrapped her arms around his neck and looked into his eyes.

"How've you been?" Bruce asked.

Selina kissed his cheek, "That's the first thing you've said to me all night."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"I'm sorry," Bruce smirked and kissed her on the lips.

"It's all good. I've missed you."

"Sorry, I've been busy…"

Selina grinned and nibbled at the edge of his mask.

"Babe, I would not do that."

"Why?"

"You'll get electrocuted," Bruce smirked.

Selina rolled her eyes, "Electrodes off!"

Bruce pulled his cowl off and looked at Selina.

She cupped his cheek and kissed him again, "When are you off patrol?"

Bruce sighed, "I can get Dick or Tim to take over."

Selina smiled and pulled her cowl off. She shook her long, dark hair out and winked at Bruce.

"You want to do it on the roof again?"

Selina frowned, "Maybe…"

"What do you have in mind, Selina?"

She laughed and spread her arms against the brick wall of the building's skylight.

"You've got to be kidding me," Bruce exhaled.

Selina shook her head, "You're strong enough. Right, Hercules?"

Bruce sighed, "Alright, alright."

"Good," Selina smiled as Bruce moved to her body.

Bruce wrapped his strong arms around her waist. He pushed his lips to hers and gently licked her lips. Selina moaned and slithered her tongue into his mouth. He pushed his groin into her and panted at the pressure.

She squeezed her hands in between their bodies and began working on his utility belt. He waited for a few seconds as she fumbled with the belt.

"Want me to get that?" Bruce whispered.

Selina growled, "Yes."

Bruce released his hands from her back and pulled his belt off and let it fall to the floor. He curled his hands around her body again as she worked on his spandex bottoms. He let a gasp escape his lips as she moved her hands down the stretchy waistband and run her fingers over him.

Selina smiled and let her long eyelashes brush across his cheek.

"H-hold on," Bruce cleared his throat.

Selina paused and raised an eyebrow at him.

Bruce held up his wrist communicator, "Batman to Oracle."

There was a static click then a woman's voice, "How can I help you, Batman?"

"I need you to send Nightwing or Robin out on patrol duty in Northern Gotham."

"Well, Robin is off patrolling South Gotham, Batgirl has East covered, Huntress is… busy."

Selina glared at the name of Huntress.

Bruce kissed her cheek gently, "And Nightwing?"

Barbara turned away from the computer and to the man half undressed, trying to seduce her, on one of the desks, "You. Go patrol North Gotham."

"What!" Dick pouted.

"Batman needs backup, or something. Get dressed and get out."

"You're mean…"

Barbara glared, "Want me to change the locks?"

Dick sulked, "No…"

"Then don't argue with me, this is your job."

"I was in the middle of something…"

"Don't care."

"How much you wanna bet he's with Selina right now?"

"Richard Grayson!" Barbara scolded.

Dick reached down his waistband and pulled out a $20, "My money's on the table."

Barbara grinned and shook her head, "You're incorrigible."

"I know, love," Dick winked.

"Wait; is Nightwing at the Clock Tower now?" Bruce asked.

"Yes, and he won't leave," Barbara grumbled.

"Nightwing," Bruce growled, "Go patrol."

"Ugh!" Dick cried picking his Kevlar shirt off the ground and slipping it back on.

"Slower," Barbara laughed.

"Shut up, Barbara," Dick growled.

Dick slipped his boots back on and opened the window. He gave one last mopey look to Barbara.

Barbara smirked and wheeled over to him. Dick crouched down and grinned.

She smacked him on the butt, "Go! Off my house!"

"You're sleeping alone tonight," Dick snapped back, rubbing his behind.

"Love you, boyfriend," Barbara cooed.

Dick sneered, "Uh huh."

"Alright, Batman, he's leaving now."

"Thank you," Bruce smiled, closed his com link, and turned back to Selina.

Selina smiled and licked his lips.

Bruce looked down, "How'd you get my pants off already?"

"There's a reason I've never remained in jail."

"You're sneaky."

"I know," Selina murmured.

Bruce unbuckled her belt and tugged her leather pants down.

She tightened her grasp around his muscular neck and pushed herself up. Bruce gripped her thighs and pushed himself closer to her.

Selina wrapped her legs around her waist and met the cold bricks against her back as Bruce pushed closer to her.

* * *

Dick glowered at Bruce and Selina who were lying in each others' arms on the roof of the building across the street.

He growled and pressed the com link on his glove, "Oracle?"

"What now, Nightwing?"

"How much money did you put in the pool?"

"What pool?"

"The bet that I created. That pool."

"Oh. I didn't."

"Yes you did. I can tell from your voice you're lying. Hon, if I can beat a lie detector test, I think I can tell when you're lying," Dick smirked.

"Point taken," Barbara grumbled.

"How much?"

"$20."

"Damn. Want me to pick up some Chinese?" Dick asked.

"I thought you were broke…" Barbara murmured pulling her copper hair into a ponytail.

"Babe, I just made $40."

"What? How? Are you giving blow jobs on the street?"

"That's not my gig. I just won the pool."

"Oh? Really now?"

"Yeah. I'm sending you a picture as we speak."

Barbara opened the file he had just sent and let out a shriek, "RICHARD! That's pornography!"

Dick smirked, "Not my problem."

"Oh… that's gross…"

"Yeah I know."

"Where are you?"

"Watching the aftershock from the opposite roof."

"Dick… that's spying."

"I can't hear them."

"It's still spying."

Dick grinned, "Uh huh."

Barbara rubbed her temples and didn't reply.

"Can I send this to Tim?"

"Absolutely not."

"Aw… why not?"

"Dick, no. That kid has been through enough."

"Seeing Roy wasn't that bad."

"Dick, no. You're torturing him."

"Uh oh…"

"What? What? What?"

"My finger slipped on the send button. Sorry, Babs…"

Barbara threw her hands into the air, "Really, Dick?"

"Sorry…"

"That's real mature!"

"I said I was sorry."

Barbara let an exasperated growl out and wheeled away from the com link.

"Babs? You there?"

"I am," Barbara snapped back.

Dick pouted, "Babs… I'm sorry…"

"I can't believe you sometimes."

Dick shifted on the roof, "So… you want Chinese?"

"You got a Visa in your waistband?" Barbara growled.

"No, I can run by, grab the money, get some food, come back, and then continue where I left off with the seduction. Can I try and make this up to you? I'll let you put money in my underwear. I'll give you a lap dance! Please? I'm sorry, babe."

Barbara sighed, "Fine. I forgive you."

"Have I ever told you you're the most beautiful and most wonderful person ever?"

"Mm, perhaps, but I don't mind hearing it."

"During my strip tease you'll get more."

Barbara giggled, "Want to do something kinky?"

"Absolutely."

"How about I eat noodles off your body?"

Dick began sprinting off the roof and shot his grappling hook off to the distance.

* * *

Bruce sighed and watched the shadow jump off into the darkness.

"What?" Selina asked, kissing his jaw.

"Dick was watching."

Selina covered her body with his cape, "Say what!"

Bruce pointed his finger and followed the hopping shape run off.

"Oh my God…" Selina gasped.

Bruce frowned.

Selina looked at him, "Oh well."

"Oh well?"

"We have good sex. I don't even care if anyone watches."

Bruce smirked, "Nice, Selina."

"I love you, Batman."

"Uh huh," Bruce smirked as Selina crawled on top of him.

Selina massaged his shoulders, "You gonna be able to use your arms?"  
"Of course. You don't weigh a thing."

"I do, but I'll accept the compliment," Selina smiled.

Bruce grinned, "What are you doing, beautiful?"

Selina rocked against his body, "Nothing."

Bruce laughed, "You not done?"

"You're Batman right?"

"Yes…"

"Batman lasts all night long, so I've heard."

"Good God."

"Rock my world, Batman."

Bruce laughed, "Really, Selina?"

"It's Catwoman," Selina replied putting her cowl back on and giving a silent snarl.

"Oh boy…"

"Put the cowl on," Selina waved at his mask.

Bruce sat up and pulled his cowl over his face.

"Do the Batman voice when we have sex," Selina grinned.

"Fine," Bruce grumbled in his Batman voice.

Selina threw her head back, "Best foreplay ever."

Bruce shook his head and laughed.

"Batman! Be serious!"

"Grr!" Bruce mock growled.

"Oh! Hey! We have a whip!" Selina cried reaching for her whip and cracking it against the pavement.

"Shit, Kitty…"

"What? You scared of a little whip?"

"Mainly the woman holding it."

"Ooh, kinky."

"Oh God," Bruce moaned as Selina rotated her hips against his.

"You gonna take me to Arkham?" Selina whispered.

"Jesus… I'll take you to the moon."

Selina licked her lips, "Glad to hear it."

FIN


End file.
